The "Blast List" Southern Legends of 2010

It has been a cracking year. One with highs such as the All Black rugby season and lows such as the Pike river mine accident. Hell there has even been a splash of excitement with an evacuation due to an imminent tidal wave and a decent sort of an earthquake. Business has found it tough, banks have prospered, GST went up, there have been droughts, floods, snow storms and in amongst it all, if you really look hard you find legends. People who have shone through, sometimes in the face of adversity, at other times just as part of their jobs and every day life.

It is the time of year to reflect on a few "Southern Legends" that have inspired during the year;

Austin Hemmings

Austin Hemmings. I wrote about Austin recently (link here). OK he didn't do his thing in 2010 but he is still an inspiration to all of us. He stepped in to help a stranger, a woman being beaten, and was himself stabbed to death. So many people just walk on by and to help someone in a time of need is a risky and selfless thing to do. He was not a Southerner but I am thankful for Austin and the fact he cared. Austin you are a "Southern Legend!

Alan Hubbard. Alan has had a tough year! (Link here) To those that know him he is a man who has done so much good for the Southern community throughout his long life. He is smart and generous and cares about those around him. There are numerous inquiries and a lot of bad press surrounding the demise of South Canterbury Finance but I have every confidence that he will be found to have done nothing of criminal intent. To all the bashers (generally those in Auckland) we don't care what you think. Alan Hubbard is a good man and retains "Southern Legend" status!

Lieutenant Tim O'Donnell. Killed in action in Afghanistan August 2010. (link here) Tim was a Patrol Commander working as part of the New Zealand Army contingent when he was killed by a roadside bomb. Sad as it was, Tim loved his chosen profession and was well regarded by his fellow Burnham based Officers and Infantry soldiers. Tim gets "Southern Legend" status for being prepared to do his bit.

John Key. Whether you vote for him or not you do have to be impressed by the energy and relaxed leadership style of Mr Key. The man has continued to pop up at every event around the country and indeed around the world. He comes across as smart, well briefed and is unflappable even under obvious stress. He has led from the front at Pike river, during the Canterbury quake and has done much to keep our trade and commerce rolling and to establish stronger relationships overseas. He comes across as just an everyday Kiwi but of course he's not. John gets "Southern Legend" status for 2010.

Sergeant Tod Hollebon. I gave Sergeant Hollebon a 'Legend of the Month" award back in October for his part in cracking down of the wave of foreign tourists who feel it is their right to crap their way through our country. (Link here). Sergeant Hollebon, currently of the Te Anau Police made headlines when he caught some Spanish tourists in "phantom nard" mode. Instead of prosecuting them they were given the option of spending an afternoon cleaning up the spoils of their efforts (and others). I loved this concept. Thanks Tod. You get a "Southern Legend" award.

Brad kicking heads!

Brad Thorn. How can Brad Thorn not be awarded "Southern Legend" status. As a "mature" player Brad leads from the front. Fit, tough and a hit man he has had an outstanding rugby season. The image of him flattening the England front rower who stomped Richie McCaw was just the icing on the cake. looking forward to seeing you in action at the World Cup Brad! Keep those young lads in line!

CEO: Peter Whittall

Peter Whittall. Peter Whittall impressed us all with his devotion and leadership during the Pike River Mine disaster. He led from the front and remained up front and honest through what was a very tough situation. he kept the families informed and rode the international media firestorm. I am awarding "Southern Legend" status to Peter and the 29 miners who remain at work down that mine. Thanks for inspiring us.


There are others who have come close to making the list but these few have made a mark on our lives and in my world they impressed me.

Good on ya mate. I'll blow the froth off a couple of Speights over the next few days in your honour!

Visiting the Scariest Place on Earth: Riccarton Shopping Mall at Christmas Time

I'm not sure about you but Christmas shopping scares the average Southern Bloke. I get sweaty palms and a knot in my guts just getting ready to head out! Yesterday we did a family push to Riccarton Mall. It really was a pre curser to the main event. It was just to get me into shopping mode because whilst everyone else in the family has it sorted, I am for the first time getting my head around the annual requirement to do "Christmas shopping".

Riccarton Mall did not fail to deliver. The lines of cars circling the high rise car parks, the teenagers dressed as parking attendants/security who complete with ear pieces were intently focused on texting rather than directing people to vacant parks. Then into the main event.....the travelator that led us into the seething mass of shoppers. Suddenly I was amongst them all and to be fair they were all there. The arguing families,  the Merivale crew, the dozens of teenagers milling about, the bored shop assistants, the fat people hoovering everything in the food courts, money machines jammed, lines of people waiting for everything. men looking bewildered and traumatised.

We did brave the supermarket and nail the main food shop which was great.

A frightening place!

Righto Santa: Bring it on Son!

An Elf decorates the tree!

Its that time of year isn't it. The Christmas tree is set up, lights flickering, the odd present lying dormant at its base. The scone grabbers have been let out of school for the year, unleashed into parental care!

The grocery budget is being carefully managed, mainly because the booze allowance has been doubled and also because there are 500 relatives set to descend on the Christmas table so everyone is getting a bit twitchy about what they will be fed.

Well just relax. I've learnt a few things over the years so can share a few tippity top tips;

• There will be more than enough food. Trust me, everyone brings it with them. Of course it is usually the wrong stuff and either can't be incorporated into the feast or is still in the cupboard for next Christmas but here is a fact. No one starved on Christmas day....ever!
• Santa will do his bit. It may not be right, he may deliver the wrong parcels, but he always delivers in some format and after a few wines and some awesome cooking no one is too worried. Even the staunchest kids chill out!
• Find solace in alcohol. A wise man told me that once when I was having a few stresses in my life and it is true. There is not much a couple of stiff rum and cokes or fine NZ wines can't assist with.
• Chocolate helps. It is absolutely normal and acceptable to demo complete packets of Nestle Scorched Almonds in single sittings. Don't feel bad, you only live one and it might as well be a life filled with nice things to eat.
• Your family will drive you mad at some stage over the break. People coming and going, the need to communicate. Accept that at some stage you may want to kill someone close to you. This is where the "find solace in alcohol" advice above comes in handy. Embrace the stress, your family and just go with it......it will make you stronger yada yada yada.
• It is the time of year to sleep in, get up late, drink and eat too much and to play games with the rug rats. The trick is to not play the games after doing all the eating and drinking. Short bursts combined with periods on the couch. It is a long summer after all!
• The logistics of Santa are getting a bit harder to work through. At age 9 they are getting a bit more savvy and smart and asking probing questions. It seems that there are "non believers" in the ranks at school around this age. Resist the temptation to go to the school and round up the said "non believers".  Instead keep the explanations simple, consistent and easy to remember (what you have said). "Yes santa will find our new house", "Yes he will wedge down that chimney" (at least it is still up because most Canterbury chimneys got destroyed which will create delays in delivery this year), "Who cares what Jeremy, Lilly, Johnny (insert name of "non believer") may think, Santa is big enough and ugly enough to get it all nailed off and delivered in one night."

So consider all this as the big day approaches and you sit at the kitchen table, coffee in hand and contemplate the fact that eventually you will need to venture into a shop and buy some Christmas presents. 

That is another story.

If you liked this "Christmas fable" you will enjoy some reflections from last year;

This was popular and contains some good Santa tips: Santa: One Wrong Move and You Are Toast Son!

Hurry up Santa!

Out Clubbing......Seal Clubbing that is!

Who felt a bit dumbfounded last week at the hysteria that bounced around the country after media reports of "seal clubbing" (see link) near Kaikoura? Tragic as it is that the odd loser has to entertain themselves by killing protected animals, these clowns generally come unstuck and do a bit of jail time. Its the old story one idiot lets us all down!

But it was big news! Page one news in the Press in fact.....meanwhile on page 9 there was an article about a 69 year old lady who was violated in her own home. It is just so screwed up when violence and senseless acts against people are just everyday news. People were seriously upset by the seal clubbing. Opinion writers a week on still refer to it.

Kiwi legend Austin Hemming. Killed helping someone in trouble.

Auckland legend Austin Hemmings was again in the news. Several years ago Austin stepped in to help a woman being attacked and was himself stabbed to death (read about it here). The killer got 16 years last week (and well deserved too!). Of course we all felt outraged that this could happen in Auckland, but I don't recall the hatred and pure anger against this man that seal clubbing seems to attract! It is a sad indictment on our society is it not?

We need more Austin Hemmings. Bottle him! Blokes who care enough to step in. If more people did it then perhaps the good guys wouldn't get hurt as often. Good on you Austin for stopping and doing something. Sorry you got killed doing it!

Rest in Peace.

Worth a Follow

For those Southerners who don't get out much and get pissed off when the movie they go to sucks.....try this blog CinemaSharks. Worth a read and follow I'd say.

Delightful tales of Those Who Badly Need it Being Given The Good News

Just love irony.....need more wellness sticks out there!

I just loved this delightful tale that was told so well by The Sun (Link Here). Entitled "Heroes in Yobs Rout" it tells of two losers who along with their "tough" dog thought they would take it upon themselves to try and bully three blokes in suits. It seems these three gents were no other than two recent recipients of the George Cross (a bravery award one down from the VC) and the Australian recipient of the the Victoria Cross in Afghanistan. All three military types were walking back from a civil reception at Buckingham Palace in suits with medals on. A couple of warnings to "walk away" were ignored by the two clowns who decided to push them and be idiots. So down they went, the dog got a boot, the three military types readjusted their suits and headed on their way.....probably to a pub away from the media! All in a days work thanks.

It is a delightful story. I just love it and to be honest we need more of it! You know the good old fashioned "bad guy gets a good toweling for his troubles" by the "good guy! It reminds me of an incident we had whilst I was an Army Officer. After training with the Australians in Sydney our finest Infantry were enjoying the offerings of central Sydney. One particular group of three Kiwi soldiers were waiting for a train back to the base at Halsworthy. One of the group was a half Chinese/half Samoan man who was a black belt in martial arts. In fact just looking at him you knew he was tough. Short, stocky, fit and suitably tattooed down both arms with oriental artwork. In fact he later left the Army to make martial arts movies....go figure!

So all three are standing there bleary eyed after a few sherbets out on the town. Enter two skin heads who pull a knife on said "asian looking" man. "Give us your money". The ensuing next two minutes involved two onlookers watching as two skinheads were demolished by said martial arts expert. One broken arm and two unconscious attackers later and the New South Wales Police in attendance saw two serial "muggers" jailed for constantly targeting Sydney's Asian tourists. This led to a citation from the New South Wales Police Commissioner for one New Zealand soldier for doing his bit which was duly presented on a parade back in New Zealand.

Now that story is a bit of ANZAC Gold! Delightful huh. Of course it does not always go the way of the hero as Eric Brady can tell you. You may recall this World War 2 vet was set upon in an RSA carpark by a New Zealand low life. I wrote this blog about him some time ago. (Link here).

Enjoy the weekend. I'm heading down south.