Now I'm not sure about you, but Christmas is a big time in our house. Yesterday I was dragged out into the city by a cute eight year old who has been going on all week about how it is time for the Christmas tree to be put up.
All week Caetana has been planning the tree, making a fairy for the top of it (involves cutting 2 million bits of paper and sprinkling glitter everywhere with glue and stuff). She has completed her Christmas shopping, wrapped them all and they were out next to where the tree was planned to stand. So get the tree we did, installed it is and cool it looks and it will be an ongoing tweaking of decorations! Ironic given that I have not even considered for one second what I will buy for anyone and in fact my "Christmas brain" will not kick in until after the 18th of December when I knock off for the year! Normally I knock off the day before so there is little time for action.
The logistics of Santa is quite fascinating and I'm sure as parents you have had to work with Santa to keep things believable to savvy kids who can use "Google Earth" and phones, use Sky and study everything from space to whales at school. I'm not sure how long our wee girl will believe in the red jacketed, overweight, elderly do gooder, but it's fun whilst it lasts!!
As parents you have all those difficult questions to work through so here are a few tips for those entering the questioning age with kids;
- Hows does Santa get down every chimney in the world over 24 hours? Hmmm....time zone & planning honey! He has all day to work on this and follows the daylight around the world! He also plans all year for this and is very very organised. (and does nothing else!).
- How does he fit all the presents onto one sleigh? Good point but he obviously has to shrink them. Naturally a kid does not know much about transport logistics e.g. bulking out vs weighing out, scale, tonnage etc,so you can get away with this!
- Are the deer you shoot the same as Santas? No his are reindeer so quite special (but probably just as nice stir fried) and can fly (without wings).
- How do they fly? This is a very good point and to be honest where the whole story really unravels because it is bloody ridiculous isn't? How can a deer fly....she has a point! So stall for time here, change the subject or use the old "I am not a liberty to disclose that information." (The old military secret approach) or "Ask Mum/Granddad/Teacher." (Try and outsource this one!). The teacher seems to know every other thing in the world so perhaps she can have a crack at explaining that!
- How does Santa get in through the fire if it is a log burner? They are left open and if not he has a sky hook that can open the door from the outside. He also shrinks (ties in with shrinking presents so he can fit them on the sleigh) in size so he can jump down tiny chimneys.
- Why is Santa so fat? Lack of discipline and physical exercise (Mum is a personal trainer so that is her field!). Reality is Santa is a normal older inactive person who eats a crap diet.
- How does he know if I have been good all year? Dad lets him know.....or... "he just knows!" ( Your teacher dobs you in.....thats a goody!)
Having a little person who believes in fairy's and Santa is something I never really gave much thought to before but it is quite a special time in your life as you see the joy on their face and the laughter it generates. So despite the hard times and the fact it does not last forever, you do have to enjoy your kids while they are this age. We all know the world is a big complex, fast moving nasty old place and the longer we can keep it simple the better.
I personally think the whole Santa thing is a bit of a crock. Logistics of moving all that freight aside, the air traffic control coordination that would be needed, there is the fact that Santa would get taken down by an F18 (over the USA) under the new terrorism alert regime, the fact he potentially could fall victim to a hunter (as per my picture) or an over protective father hearing a noise in the middle of the night. There is the question, why would santa want to do this year in year out into his old age? Tearing around the world delivering presents to good little scone grabbers is great (and impressive) but it is never going to be easy!
All I can say is it is something that is pleasant, fun and shouldn't be analyzed in detail. It should be enjoyed until the time your kids lie in ambush and catch Santa (Dad) in the act of filling stockings....exactly as I did as a kid! At least it shows you how good your father is at talking on his feet!
You just have to be one step ahead of the little buggers and enjoy it!
